Nursing does not stop with the patient. There’s good news and bad news when it comes to dealing with a grieving family. First, the bad news: there is nothing you can say or do at that moment to take away their pain. With that being said, the good news is that: the pressure is off to come up with the right thing to say because of that! Your role is not to comfort them, but to provide support. Support is different for every family because each family will have different needs, but in moments of crisis and shock, helping meeting the family’s basic and practical needs can be the most helpful. Here are some things to keep in mind as you evaluate the situation and how you can help the family best:
Acknowledge that you can’t imagine the pain that they are feeling and going through. Nobody wants you to pretend that you know what it feels like to lose or be close to losing someone who is close to you (even if you actually do). You need to step back and acknowledge that every family and every loss within it is different and unique in itself. Make it known to the family that you understand that it’s totally different and unique and that you are there to help in any way possible.
Ask them what they need in that moment. Whether it be shampoo and conditioner, a trip to the cafeteria for overdue food or even just some time alone, sometimes they don’t even know what or that they do need anything until you ask. If they say nothing, that’s a good cue to let them be by themselves until they can gather their thoughts and their wants and needs.
Ask about their loved one. If you have spent some time with them and feel it’s appropriate, ask about their loved one. If it feels natural, it might be a good way to build rapport with the family and bring back some great memories to their minds.
Answer questions about what happens next. Depending on the status of the patient, there may need to be steps taken after this moment that the family may be unaware of. Ask if they have any questions and explain in detail to make sure they feel confident moving forward with whatever that process may be.
And the last is help them connect with the people who will best comfort them in the next days. For example, do they seem to upset to drive? Offer to reach out to a friend or family member that can come pick them up. You can even provide grief counseling resources for them to use at their expense.
Remember, you are there for support, not comfort. All of these tips can help you support and help these families who are going through a tragedy. Feel out the situation and whatever feels right, trust your heart and move forward.
